मैं दीपक हूँ

Almost a month back, something which I have been working upon-for almost half a decade- crashed and burned right in front of me. Not that this is something that doesn’t happen to anyone else, but I can’t rob that event of its significance- at least, not just because it happens to everybody. I can’t.

I will not.

But there is a lot that I learnt along the way- or at least, I would like to think so. I also know that you can not foresee how and where all those learnings might come handy in future, but because they are a part of me- I know they will.

I am aware that my story is not limited to a project here, and a project there. Rather, it is going to be about the theme that I have invested myself into. That theme, which has driven me this far, is intact. If I had a choice of turning back time and changing some choices I made 7 years back, I can say this from the bottom of my heart: I won’t do it any differently.

But a man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.

Destroyed I am.

Reading helps, in times like these. Because you have precedents in situations like these. People have survived, and lived to tell the tale. Knowing this helps.

But comfort and peace of mind are overrated anyway. It was adventure what I sought right from day one, and adventure is what I got. Can’t even complain 😉

Even in this moment of despair and gloom, I still want to work on that theme that I talked about. What would I do with what I already have, if not for something that is beyond me and my petty life….

मैं दीपक हूँ, मेरा जलना ही तो मेरा मुस्काना है|

आभारी हूँ तुमने आकर
मेरा ताप-भरा तन देखा,
आभारी हूँ तुमने आकर
मेरा आह-घिरा मन देखा,
करुणामय वह शब्द तुम्हारा–
’मुसकाओ’ था कितना प्यारा।
मैं दीपक हूँ, मेरा जलना ही तो मेरा मुस्काना है|

है मुझको मालूम पुतलियों
में दीपों की लौ लहराती,
है मुझको मालूम कि अधरों
के ऊपर जगती है बाती,
उजियाला करदेनेवाली
मुसकानों से भी परिचित हूँ,
पर मैंने तम की बाहों में अपना साथी पहचाना है।
मैं दीपक हूँ, मेरा जलना ही तो मेरा मुस्काना है|

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2 thoughts on “मैं दीपक हूँ

  1. As we know, falling is heavy. Especially falling when so much of yourself (thoughts, energy, work, time, dreams…) has been invested in it – i think it drags down to the ground even more strongly than any other fall in life. But you are one of those people who do the bravest, equally difficult and also beautiful thing – getting up. And looking ahead instead of giving up. Despite the mud, you keep walking. And i admire that, a lot.

    PS: Using the G-translator, i think i also got the essence of the poem, a spectacular one…

    Like

    • Thats true. Your grief is contingent on the investments you have made… So, this was kind of a big deal.

      You used the translator? 🙂 Well, even if you just read the title, it makes so much sense. You can’t ( shouldn’t ) complain of the burn when that is all you can do, right? I mean… I never had any choice. there was nothing else, I could have done. so, in a way, this whole was a set up 😀 But of course, there are walls to break down, and ideas to replace them with…

      Like

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