Timelessness

Some things are timeless. It is possible that the time the world came to know about them, they will not be appreciated much. But it is just that…they stick. And, even when it has been 6 years, am still in awe of how great this movie was. Truly a work of art, which not many seemed to bother.

Their loss entirely. Gives me goosebumps even today, when I watch its trailer.

Crazy!

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Two Why-s

Look at love

look at love
how it tangles
with the one fallen in love

look at spirit
how it fuses with earth
giving it new life
why are you so busy
with this or that or good or bad
pay attention to how things blend

why talk about all
the known and the unknown
see how the unknown merges into the known

why think separately
of this life and the next
when one is born from the last

look at your heart and tongue
one feels but deaf and dumb
the other speaks in words and signs

look at water and fire
earth and wind
enemies and friends all at once

the wolf and the lamb
the lion and the deer
far away yet together

look at the unity of this
spring and winter
manifested in the equinox

you too must mingle my friends
since the earth and the sky
are mingled just for you and me

be like sugarcane
sweet yet silent
don’t get mixed up with bitter words

my beloved grows right out of my own heart
how much more union can there be

Rumi

The marriage thing

As it turns out, my brothers (cousin) are getting married. Apparently, I should be worried and ashamed, if people are to be taken seriously 😉

LOL.

Yes, I think the boy getting married today has done well. But that is because it is a love marriage- and I have a solemn respect for anyone who makes a choice on his/her own. Whether they handle it well, or not, is none of my business ( I analyse and make fun of it anyway. all for fun )

But that ideological angle apart, I think people don’t realise what all is possible by prolonging this unmarried stretch like a boss! The other day, I realised my biggest worries are: communalisation and politicisation of Indian society, declining civic sense in Delhi, finding a new gym and learning Tamil. That is all 🙂 The point is, the profile of concerns in life shifts when you get married.

I would hate that.

To quote HRB,

मैं कभी, कहीं पर सफ़र ख्‍़ात्‍म कर देने को

तैयार सदा था, इसमें भी थी क्‍या मुश्किल;

चलना ही जिका काम रहा हो दुनिया में

हर एक क़दम के ऊपर है उसकी मंज़‍िल;

जो कल मर काम उठाता है वह पछताए,
कल अगर नहीं फिर उसकी क़‍िस्‍मत में आता;
मैंने कल पर कब आज भला बलिदान किया।
मैंने जीवन देखा, जीवन का गान किया।

But what about love?

 

The whole things only get better theory I so ardently believe in, still holds for me. I have been lucky. 

 

Green shoots!

In times like these- when all my lifelines are threatened, it seems there is hope. I had stopped listening to music, since the last decade maybe. Now, I begin my day with some really great music everyday- unplugged, of course. Old favourites are finding my ears, once again. And more 🙂

Lord of The Rings – The Hobbit (Piano/Cello Cover) – ThePianoGuys

As I was saying

The other day, WordPress let me know that I have gotten older- here. 10 years is a long time 🙂 Especially in digital space, where I ( like most of those I know ) have created and deleted footprints on sites. I have been everywhere- Orkut, Facebook, Blogger, Twitter- and back. In a way, that goes with what I read about the developmental phase associated with 25-35 year olds. Turns out, I am not different.

Sadly 😉

I don’t read books ( though, I read a lot of newspapers and magazines ), I don’t blog and I don’t meet new people ( for pleasure, that is )- none of which makes me comfortable. But, as I grow old, it appears one has to choose which boxes I want to tick- the most. Can’t have it all. So I do what is most important to me, leaving the rest for universe.

Wisdom, in all probability, is choosing the battles you want to fight.

 

Read : ‘ Live dangerously…’

I have admired her body of work since quite sometime. No, she is not an actress you swoon over- not even when she was 18. Rather, she is one of those. The ones who move the world forward, even when it doesn’t want to. This is her letter to her own 18 year old self published in today’s newspaper.

Dear R,

You are already wise — you are miserable at 18; you don’t buy any of that sweet 16 stuff can you? And rightly so. Things are hard, but you don’t have to be miserable; though I have to say that being miserable is good fun! I don’t want to warn you about the pitfalls ahead; don’t want to ruin the discoveries you will make. I don’t want to advise you — you won’t listen anyway. But I’d like to say that fear is a waste of time. And one can take forever to overcome various fears, so hurry up if possible.

You’re in for the long haul, you realise that, don’t you? You are going to be an actress forever. So get used to it and start learning ASAP. Nothing will be easy but it will be absorbing, so don’t belittle the art and craft of acting, as you are wont to at the moment. Develop respect for the art of creating, not just the creative product.

Travel — without being led, if possible. If you don’t look for safety and familiarity you may find unexpected delights.

A little secret — you can get more or less everything you ask for, so be careful what you want. Also you will get what you want but it won’t be in the way you want it; surprises are inevitable.

Bad news — you are a procrastinator by temperament — the fight will be endless and tiresome but totally worth it, so fight with all your might against it. You are also deeply lazy to make matters worse but you will surmount this, if goaded; allow yourself to be goaded.

Worse news — you will be astounded by how much of the gender nonsense you have internalised. And how much you will need to battle with yourself to overcome this early indoctrination. Get to work now.

Order and chaos are not necessarily independent of each other — don’t be anal about order; it’ll get in the way.

You’re wondering how one can work without being attached to the fruits of one’s labour. This is not the contradiction it appears to be now. It’s the only way to work constantly and remain sane.

Keep training your body and voice. An actor’s body has to be expressive in many ways and beauty is not the only aim.

Learn how to swim now. Please.

They say youth is wasted on the young but remember one can stay young-minded for as long as one wants.

So, I’m afraid I ended up with prophecy and advice after all! Sorry. Hindsight is always 20/20, but a hint — the ride is going to be fun.

I have a picture of you as you are now — those tweezed eyebrows and the almost painful look of anticipation and trepidation and I feel a great tenderness towards you. I’m deeply gratified to know that you will end up wiser than you are today.

PS: That good-looking guy on the bicycle is interested in you. Flirt confidently — your mom is not right about everything, you know. Live dangerously, once in a while at least!

Love,

Ratna

If only the women of today’s India were more like her 🤔 They should realise- internalise if not realise, you are what you do and not what you think. In the end, accomplishments attached to your name are what define you, and not how you looked some day ,or how progressive you are in your thoughts. Everyone has thoughts, and ideas, till they are put to test.

Note :- This is a tribute to my mother who bagged Sahitya Akademi award at 56, dwarfing all my accomplishments put together.

Bottom

It has almost been a year since I realised that the forces, or something of sorts ( if my mother is to be believed ), are not on my side. True, something to that effect seems to be working against me. Every single endeavour I have undertaken, has crashed and burned like shit falling from an airplane. Anyone slightly level headed, might start go by the oft-quoted 5 stage model of Grief : 1. Denial and isolation; 2. Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance. ( courtesy Kübler-Ross model ). But, I should not, not in this life.

I can not.

For the sake of everything I have learnt, read and known, I must not.

There has to be an inflection point, I would like to think so. But even if it gets worse, I believe I can take it.

And of course, I came across these lines in Bhagat Singh’s book a few weeks back:

As far as the first question is concerned, I think I have made it clear that I did not turn atheist because of vanity. Only my readers, not I, can decide whether my arguments carry weight. If I were a believer, I know in the present circumstances my life would have been easier; the burden lighter. My disbelief in God has turned all the circumstances too harsh and this situation can deteriorate further. Being a little mystical can give the circumstances a poetic turn. But I need no opiate to meet my end. I am a realistic man. I want to overpower this tendency in me with the help of Reason. I am not always successful in such attempts. But it is man’s duty to try and make efforts. Success depends on chance and circumstances.

I am not alone.

 

PS- the model has served me well though. Except, its the other way round and now, am a very very angry person.